I have Dragon Flu!!1!

Commonly known as Dragon Flu, Influenza W is quickly spreading across civilized nations. According to the lore of people local to the area where Dragon Flu is thought to have started, Dragon Flu is the result of poor sanitary conditions at a Dragon plantation in the south Himalayas. Most of the daily activities of dragons are unknown to common people, and as such, few people know that dragons produce an amount of waste equal to half their body weight every day. This may not seem like a big deal at first, but put another 60 dragons or so into the equation, and you've got a problem.

Apparently, this plantation had taken to disposing of the waste by firing it through an industrial fan, dispersing the waste through the air. While this method of disposal was convenient, it would cause fecal showers that lasted anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours.

Here is a crude diagram of what that might look like, as well as two pictures of towns near the plantation:



Influenza W is believe to have started from these showers, but, really it's anybody's guess. The virus is spreading quickly, with over seven confirmed cases throughout the western continents. Influenza W differs from common Influenzas in that it is the first disease to have mutated from dragons to humans, thus making it extra deadly, as everyone knows a dragon-type of anything is better than its non-dragon counterparts. Not to mention, this disease has a 5% mortality rate in dragons, meaning it can take down actual fucking dragons!

We don't stand a chance.

While Dragon Flu in humans has 100% recovery rate with a few doses of standard penicillin, I know that won't last long.

Of course, I'm certain I have it. I've contracted an illness as of recently, and I seem to be coughing, have an upset stomach, a sore throat, and occasional vomiting. Symptoms all of Dragon Flu! I'm not long for this world, so I thought I'd warn my audience of the dangers of this rapidly-spreading pandemic before it's too late. Remember, if you're exhibiting any of the symptoms of Dragon Flu, or even other ones that may normally be considered another illness, be aware that you almost definitely have contracted dragon flu, and may die within the hour. Or you might last a few days, I forget.

This one may be the disease that wipes out the human race. Rapture is now.

Seriously, people are fucking stupid.

I know. Sheesh, everyone knows that Dragon waste is actually the universe's best plant fertilizer. Why do you think we have rainforests? Gawd.

ah the shit rain! I have it as well!

XFD Nice.

Rep'd. You make this up?

Originally Posted by Majora_younglink

You make this up?

Negative, he is entirely serious.

Originally Posted by Erbavore

Negative, he is entirely serious.

As in he didn't get this from some site.

Jackass. >.>

Originally Posted by Majora_younglink

As in he didn't get this from some site.

I know, I was kidding. Anyhow, doing a Google search for some of the text returns nothing relevant, so, it's probably his own content. He's pretty creative.

Jackass. >.>

. Also, because it feels appropriate:

:pizza5:

Originally Posted by Majora_younglink

As in he didn't get this from some site.

Jackass. >.>

I've heard of the shit rain (just not of the draogn flu...)

Shit! I need my does of standard penicillin!

[Systemeth]

^ Doses.

hmm...how many table spoons is a does of penicillin?